A while ago I heard the saying, “Winners have more losses than losers” – and while I do not like to think of anyone as a loser, and while I also do not like to view setback as a loss (because most hardships have much value)- I still like this saying because the message is that of accepting the change and loss that comes with a rich life!
In life, changes are expected – and a call to embrace this is highlighted in this poem by Maria Sudibyo:
If you can’t change the sun
Change the direction where you stand
A River doesn’t go straightly to the sea
It flows following hills, valleys
Becomes rain, waterfall
but in the end always comes to the sea
For me, sometimes the process of “trying” ideas is the only way to reach a good solution – especially when it is an outreach type of event that “may or may not” work out.
When planning and creating, I pray about the idea, talk to my hubby about it, bounce the idea off of others, plan the first phase or two, then re-evaluate, maybe journal pros and cons, brainstorm, make lists, pray some more, assess, talk some more – and then things either unfold, change, or dissipate completely. And when ideas get scrapped completely, it may “look” like a loss to some, but to me – it is just a part of ideas being on the drawing board – and the so-called loss was a healthy part of the process!
So to say that winners have more losses than losers – well this is to stir up our thinking about the value of embracing what some may refer to as “loss” – because loss is a natural byproduct of taking chances, trying things, and getting messy in life. Marcus Aurelius summed it up well: “Loss is nothing else but change, and change is Nature’s delight.”
~Talk about change and discuss why it is sometimes hard to adjust to change or loss (disrupts life and maybe takes away initial comfort). Is it worry? Is it fear? Is it lack of vision? Is it lack of being exposed to creative processes? Or is it just a grumpy personality that has found coping in complaining and fault-finding?
~Talk about why some companies have what is called and “Umbrella of Grace” for sharing ideas -because it provides a safe place where brainstorming is encouraged and where potential losses are viewed as a natural part of innovation.
~Changes need balance: At times we need to follow through (and not change) – or we may have to finish something before we can adjust it. At other times it is foolish to keep plans that are simply wrong- and it is foolish to keep an iffy plan for the mere sake of consistency – because we may truck on and then have bigger messes later. Other times, change may be needed right away.
~ Give examples of the “mess and loss” that comes with a full life. For example, a “loser” may say, “well I never had a failed business” – but the “winner” may say, “I have had 3 failed businesses, but I also had adventure and excitement (and pain) through trying.” Or the person that boasts about never being cut from any team, well maybe it was because they never risked trying out for the harder leagues – and maybe playing it safe all the time means they had less loss – but is this always better? (No.) My husband’s analogy for this is the person on skis who boasts that they have never fallen….
~ Talk about how a “critical spirit” (and cynicism) is often rooted in unresolved anger – and discuss what it means to say that “hurt people, hurt people.”
~Have students write a few sentences about a change that was hard for them to deal with or write about a change they would like to make.
~Talk about how some people may change things too much – and maybe become flighty or miscalculate the consequences of their choice.
~Some folks may even panic and make a big change (which only makes things more difficult) because it is possible that changing was the only thing they knew to do (and sometimes we need to NOT change, but instead need to develop grit to endure).
~ Embracing change is related to embracing problems – and The Problem Solving Cycle involves going through various steps (not always in order!) – The steps are: problem identification, problem definition and representation, strategy construction, organization of information, allocation of resources, monitoring, and evaluation. Make lists, use charts, make a web – but look at the problem solving steps and get working!
~Romans 8:28: I have posted this Bible verse before, but need to share it again – because it sums things up well – “All things work FOR good to those that love the Lord.” – note it does not say all things “are” good – but things work for good!! So when you view any loss – change – or problem solving – well don’t forget that an all-powerful, all-loving, ever-present God will work things for your good – and the Holy Spirit offers comfort and counsel as we need it! I pray, in Jesus name, that all who read this will see truth and embrace what they need for their journey.