Like a Brick Wall (Micro Fiction)

Posted on by Prior...

Time to join in with Friday Fictioneers.

Here is the photo:

Photo: © Rochelle Wisoff-Fields

 

Here is the fiction:

Genre: Realistic fiction

Word Count: 100 

Title: Like a Brick Wall

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Pat and Matt stood at Ken’s grave.

“He was unwavering and strong,” said Pat.

“Single-minded and stubborn,” retorted Matt.

“He was firm and determined, which made him dependable – “

“- also staunch and unyielding…. Pat, talking to you is like talking to a brick wall. You want me to agree. I hear what you want me to hear, but I cannot pat you on the back and succumb like a doormat. Get off my back. You viewed him as laudable, but I felt he was matte and B-flat.”

“Okay, I guess that’s that.  Time for us to get on back.”

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69 thoughts on “Like a Brick Wall (Micro Fiction)”

  4. Here I sat, reading your story of Matt and Pat, and I had to think that, well, some people’s ego’s are fat, and their response to others very flat, they won’t change, even when hit with a bat, and… sorry, I can’t keep this comment’s rhyming scheme up to stat. In fact, I had to quit before I used cat, hat, gnat, tit-for-tat or even rat 😉

    Liked by 3 people

    1. well Trent – you made quite a dent and also complete sense – with your reply using our at sound – and it lifted me off the ground – a bit – because I still sit – but felt a flit and smile – to connect across the miles – the way blogging allows us to do – and this reply was so “you”
      fast with the fat and bat and stat
      truly – you have a fast rhyming knack –
      so how was that?
      and I almost named the man Kat – but there were other words in the vat – and the focus was on Mat and Pat’s perspective combat!
      in closing – to you I tip my hat
      for the quick reply with the wonderful use of words with “at”

      Liked by 3 people

      1. Yes – and I actually write for myself first and for most! And I do not always change for readers – but what you suggested was needed and fit with what I wanted too – so thanks again

        Like

    1. Hi Penny – and this was based on true story.
      We were at a funeral in 2005 and someone noted that the deceased was a man of discipline – some one said excellence – and then the teen son chimed in and said some not so nice words (cos the dad was also a meany – could have used other words for that)

      Like

  10. Dear Yvette,

    They may not agree, but at least they rhyme. Fun with dialogue. Their comments about Ken put me in mind of a piece I had to learn in HS choir, “What I like about Clive is that he is no longer alive.”

    Shalom,

    Rochelle

    Liked by 1 person

  11. Clever choice & play of words.
    The name Pat & pat on the back.
    I get the lesson in your story as I have personally experienced such viewpoint.
    There are 2 ways of seeing things- positive & negative. One man’s meat is another man’s poison 🙂

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Anita – thanks for catching my word play – I was really just having some simple fun with this – easy words and then the message – 😉

      Like

    1. Hi – wel the purpose of the dialogue was threefold – and you actually inspired me to create a post expounding a little more- so I thank you for the honest feedback.
      First – the rhyming purpose was for me – as a writer I felt like playing with words! I was in the mood for Seuss-like rhymes and also had a flow that led me play with such simple words – I know they might not appeal to all readers – perhaps not you
      But Trent came back with a quick reply that took our kindergarten word rhyme farther – and was a nice connection. So the rhyming was author mood and author expression and approach – purely preference for the day.
      second , and I should have made this clear with an author note – but I was expounding in semantics and I am not a linguist – but do love to explore the way words functions and one of my tags for this post was semantics – and so I was having fun exploring the differ t ways we use idioms and phrases –
      And the rhymes were part of it – HOMONYMS :
      How we use pat as a name and pat you
      And that’s that
      Or homophones:
      Matt as name and doormat
      And idioms:
      Get off my back
      And let’s
      Get on back
      —
      And lastly,
      I wanted to rhyme and use simple words to offer variety to readers and to also use a light approach to talk about people reflecting over someone dead! I wanted to show
      two people with very diverse views of a person –
      And I guess the rhyming will
      Not work for everyone – but for this week’s fiction it was the approach I wanted
      Thanks again for your feedback

      Like

      1. Thanks for the detailed explanation. I can see you put a great deal of thought and effort into your contribution this week, and really, that’s all that counts. Some approaches work for some readers and not for others – no-one knows this better than I. 🙂

        Liked by 1 person

    2. Also – Sandra – is not writing so much more than delivering a clear message? Indeed it is – it is also about delivery and author flavor –

      Like

    3. Hi – well I know you know fiction – and I like the photos of yours that get used for FF
      And actually – I spent very minimal time with this – maybe it is why I personally like the way it unfolded on its own –
      But if you noticed I was under 30 in the submission Inlinkz – and so no pre-plan and little thought!
      But earlier in the week I was going over semantics – well someone said lady and woman were semantics and I was already in that frame of mind
      And did not even intend three mats (Matt – doormat – and matte)
      Well thanks for coming back and have a nice week

      Like

    1. I agree and this was based on a true story where folks were noting qualities about a disciplined guy who died – but his son had less than favorable views of what they called excellence – the son viewed him as cold and often insensitive

      Liked by 1 person

  17. And that’s that….
    I’m always amused how people who have died become saints…mind you, they’re dead. Why focus on their shitty side?

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Hm – never thought of that – and in most cases I wood say I could easily do that – but sometimes staying objective to a person’s “ways” is easy to do whether dead or alive –
      If you are a prick all the time that is the essence you leave behind and even if people want to focus on the good qualities – well sometimes people are ugly too much of the time and not to speak bad of the dead or disrespect in any way – but a prick is a prick and that’s that. Hahah

      Liked by 1 person

    1. Sascha – you were spot on – this was an inner foe thing where a writer was just having fun with mood and a writing style that for the mood!
      Please read my reply to Sandra (above) because I think she missed the part about my mood for this rhyming presentation.
      It was not merely the message I was conveying – it was the journey too – the delivery in a fun way (maybe some prose)
      But I was also playing with homophones – homonyms and idioms (semantics layered here) and so I thank you for your comment big time

      Liked by 1 person

    1. Hahah – oh wow – never thought it could
      Come across that way- but that was a really good idea.
      Instead – let’s have Ken just be the objective one who is trying to be respectful of the dead but needs to not sugar coat his memory because the deceased was an ugly person and while folks want to assuage grief with sugar coating his memory – sometimes you
      Reap what you sow and it is what it is

      Like

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