Author Mabel Kwong- PRIORHOUSE INTERVIEW (MAY 2022)

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Hello readers, today I am sharing the PRIORHOUSE May 2022 Interview featuring author Mabel Kwong. 

Priorhouse: Mabel, it is so nice to have you join us for an interview.  

Mabel: Thank you so much for inviting me, Yvette, to be a part of your interviews. It’s a pleasure to be here.

Priorhouse: For those that do not know Mabel Kwong, she enjoys writing about multiculturalism, cultural habits, and what it means to be Asian in Australia. She also writes about “writing” and enjoys motivating others “to be creative, no matter their cultural background.”

Mabel: Living in different countries has helped me to appreciate diversity. I was born in Australia to migrant Chinese-Malaysian parents. My family moved to South-East Asia when I was six. We spent a decade living in Malaysia and Singapore before moving back to Melbourne, which is where I’m based now. Living in different countries opened my eyes to how different each of us are, and how similar we can also be.

• Can you tell us about your writing?

Writing is a big part of my life, and I’ve always been a writer. When I was a kid, many of my days after school were spent writing fictional fantasy stories about adventuring through magical forests with fire-breathing dragons. Fast forward to today. I’m a non-fiction writer. I write about cultural identities, exploring the challenges of being Asian Australian and different cultural lifestyle habits. 

I’m also highly introverted. Having quiet time is important to me, and that’s when I usually get my best writing ideas.

Through my writing, I aim to encourage people to be proud of their unique cultural identities and embrace cultural diversity.

Priorhouse:  What is your current Work in Progress (readers can also check out your December 2021 post, “Why it Takes So Long to Write a Book”)

Mabel: I’m currently writing a book about what it means to be Asian Australian. It’s non-fiction and part memoir. The book explores what it’s like to be too Asian, to be Australian, and too Australian to be Asian, and then offers ideas for ways to rise above cultural limitations to achieve creative dreams. 

I started writing this book about ten years ago. It has been a stop-start process for a number of reasons: inspiration comes and goes, the struggle to get the right flow of words, life gets in the way.

At one point I was almost done with the first draft. But I wasn’t happy with it and restarted the book.

At the end of last year, I finished writing the first draft and it felt like such an achievement.

I am now currently editing my book. 

Priorhouse:  I am so glad to hear about the book progress. 

• Can you explain some of the challenges you face as a writer? 

Mabel: In 2018, I hit a brick wall with writing for my blog and book. I had writer’s block. I wasn’t in tune with my writer’s voice. Writing made me tired. At one point, writing just didn’t feel exciting at all. 

I stopped writing and the break was refreshing. I took more walks outside in nature. I reminded myself why I was a writer in the first place.

What got me back into writing was accepting that I was an introvert.

For so long, I tried to be an outgoing writer: showing up to writer groups, writing with others and going to literary festivals. As a person, I sought to be extroverted: talking about ideas out loud and socialising to be popular. All of that drained me.   

Switching gears to staying home more, allowing myself to be sensitive and being more reserved, writing once again flowed for me.

One of my favorite books right now is Quiet: The Power of Introverts in a World that Can’t Stop Talking by Susan Cain.

In her books on introversion and solitude, Cain shares that “a quiet temperament is a hidden superpower” and helps reader gain a deeper understanding of introversion and how ideas can be shared quietly in our own style.

For me, solitude helps me to not only think but to also listen to the words and visualise the bigger picture as I write. 

Picking up where I left years ago, I studied planetary positions and patterns in my natal chart. From what I learnt and upon personal reflection, I gained possible insights into my character and potentials as a writer. I realized I might be someone who needs a lot of alone time, loyal supporters and is highly intuitive. Reflecting on these insights, I let go of desiring attention from a million people on my work and took a more low-key instinctive creative approach to writing – and enjoyed writing again. 

  • Any tips for writers?

Mabel: Remember that you will go through different phases with your writing. Sometimes the words just flow. Sometimes you read more than you write to explore what’s been written. Other times you struggle to even write one sentence, reassessing your worth as a writer. 

“Like many forms of art, the hardest part about writing is actually writing and more writing, actually going at it again and again.”

There are many ways to stay on top of writing or any other creative passion. Everyone has different writing habits and different ways to stay inspired and write at their own pace. Here are a few tips to consider:

    1. Take a break and indulge in a hobby you’ve always wanted to try. It can be a good way to destress.
    2. Reflect on why you write to find clarity on your purpose. 
    3. Adjust your writing schedule. A change of environment can help you feel refreshed get creative again. 
    4. Try writing something completely different to challenge your writing skills.
    5. See writer’s block as an opportunity to develop writing techniques.
    6. Socialise with your friends to gain fresh perspective. Or just to have fun.
    7. Deal with pressing pressures you may have in real life and come back to writing with a clearer mind.

Priorhouse: Thanks for those tips. In a recent Priorhouse post (here), the topic of “How to Write” books came up. It was so interesting to see how varied the topic can be. we could read about mechanics, fictions strategies, non-fiction approaches, etc.

  • Do you read any “How to Write” books or have any thoughts on the topic? 

Mabel: I love that ‘How to Write’ books came up on your blog. I haven’t read much about this topic, even though I have studied ethnography and audience reception in college. When I think of ‘How to write’ – the topic of the audience comes to mind.

The audience has always been something I consciously keep at the back of my mind when I write.

Here is what I tend to keep in mind when remembering to ‘know your audience” and considering ‘how to write” for a specific group:

    • Know your audience and try to put yourself in their shoes.
    • Perhaps ask yourself what stories and themes might resonate with them
    • Understand what problems the audience might face and approach it from different angles in writing.
    • It also helps when you have a connection with your audience in some way – creating powerful stories speak intimately and directly to your audience. For instance, I tend to write for a culturally diverse audience and tackle problems that they may face, which draws on my personal experiences as a cultural outcast.

Priorhouse: Wow, “cultural outcast” is such a powerful term. And when I was looking through your blog for an image to share in this post, I realized that you sure do connect with diverse and culturally-minded folks.

  • I decided to share a few of the comments from your blog, because they show some of the diversity and rich connection we were just talking about.
Moirey HERE
Von Bariuad’s Blog is HERE
Link to this yobynos @Stories of the Wandering Feet and mind.
Deb Riley is here at The Creative Zone for Making Art

Priorhouse: Also, I found this photo from your blog, I liked the rich cultural layers.

Priorhouse: You’ve been blogging for ten years (2012 to 2022).

By the way – I am glad you did not walk away from blogging. I know sometimes folks exit for good – and so I am glad you found a new flow and stuck around (kind of like Ally Bean did as well – found a new flow rather than exiting completely – and Ally was featured in last month’s interview here).

  • So Mabel, what was it like when you were new to blogging compared to being a seasoned blogger?

Mabel: At the start, the aim of my blog was to share stories about cultural habits and diversity. That’s still the aim today. However, when I started blogging, it was also about figuring out what and how to blog, finding my niche, and then discovering which blogs I wanted to engage with. These days, I have a schedule that helps me stay consistent with blogging. The schedule also helps me make time to visit blogs and I know how to ignore the trolls. Along the way, it has also been lovely meeting some blog friends in person. 

Priorhouse: Well I hope we can connect in person someday. Maybe for a book reunion  party or something. Thank you, again, for being one of the authors in the Lady by the River (2017) book.

Looking back on the chapter you wrote, what’s memorable about that chapter?

Mabel: For Lady by The River, I wrote Confidence to Chase My Passion. It was at a time when I questioned if I actually had what it takes to be a writer. This uncertainty stemmed from being Chinese. In Chinese culture, pursuing creative paths is looked down upon and seen as not materially viable.

Priorhouse: Yes, and in your blog post Art vs Science (here), you addressed that topic as well. Mabel, I really enjoyed working with you as we all brought Lady by the River to life. I also loved how you ended your February 2017 post (here) noting that Lady by the River was ready. It was in fact ready for the world and I am proud of its success. 

Mabel: In my chapter, I talked about the resistance I continually faced from my Chinese parents who wanted me to be a doctor or banker. But I kept on writing, finding inspiration from respecting my Chinese values, not taking criticism too personally, and pushing boundaries with my craft.

What’s memorable about this chapter in Lady by the River is the emotional connection it offers: a story about believing in yourself as both an artist and individual to achieve your creative dreams. You could be anyone – anyone from any background – and work hard and go places. So many people often feel unhappy with their mundane lives and ignore the deep desire to pursue their true passions. When you try, the chances are very good that different possibilities and new paths will open up. 

Priorhouse: I have to say again that I was pretty excited that you had the chance to share a copy of Lady by the River with Lindsey Stirling. Here is the photo I shared on the Lady by the River page HERE:

Mabel: Yes, Lindsey Stirling is my favourite musician. She is a dancing violinist. 

My favourite song from  Lindsey is Transcendence. 

I love the meaning behind it, and to quote Lindsey:

“To transcend something means more than just getting past something; it is to overcome something and become better as a result of an obstacle.”

~ Lindsey Stirling

I have felt that many times with writing – I get stuck, work through that stuck, and then have some words in the end that could help or inspire others within or beyond.

Another song from Lindsey Stirling, a close second favourite, is Crystallize, which Lindsey says is about ‘creating inner beauty in yourself first‘ – which reminds me to believe in myself and my art first – and then set it free.

Priorhouse: Thanks for the  delightful splash of the talented Lindsey. It was a nice music lift.

  • Also, just in case anyone missed it, in the video above, with the Transcendence song, at the end of it, Lindsey shared about the Landfill Harmonic Trailer:

 

Priorhouse: What does a typical day look like for you?

Mabel: Having time to myself and quiet time is important to me. It helps me feel settled and centred. I also enjoy decluttering. I’m a neat freak.  At some point in the day I make time for reading, typically in the mornings. I usually end the day by journaling or writing down what’s on my mind. 

Priorhouse: Tell us a little more about your journaling?

Mabel:  I’m quite old school with journaling, putting pen to paper. Journaling for me is a time to reflect on what I’m grateful for, where I’m currently at and where I want to be. Some days I’ll reflect on the progress of what I’m writing, work through writing difficulties, acknowledge the feelings I get while writing, or flesh out both sensible and strange ideas to possibly write about in the future. Journaling can be a way for writers to take a step back from their other writing and look at it from the outside. Through journaling, we can take ideas, thoughts, and feelings to uncharted territory – getting all of that out in front without the constraints of writing for structure. That can be cathartic. 

Priorhouse: As we wind down this interview, can you share some of your life aims? 

Mabel: I’ve always wanted to bring people of different cultural backgrounds together. To be a cultural connector of some sort. I’ve also wanted to inspire and give a voice for the introverted creatives in a world where extroverts are heard the most.

It’s interesting how each of us can be so different yet so similar. Fascinating how it’s in human nature to be competitive with each other yet at the same time, we all desire peace. We also all desire to love and be loved, be it the romantic or platonic kind. 

In the midst of competing with each other and trying to be the one on top, that’s usually where our cultural and personality differences are most pronounced – and we’re ever more divisive. We assert ourselves through dominant identities to get in front, and usually that comes across as someone or one cultural group being better than the other.

Priorhouse: Mabel, you sure said that well.  

Mabel: Thanks. People often see the world in black and white. To many, it’s either yes or no, good or bad, this or that. It isn’t always the case, especially when it comes to getting to know and understand someone whom you’ve just met. There’s always more than meets the eye, and always more to someone than first impressions. Everyone has a nuanced cultural background just as much as a nuanced individual personality.

  • Let us all remember that there’s a lot of work to be done to cultivate harmonious cross-cultural relationships.
  • Let’s remember what Mahatma Ghandi said: ‘Relationships are based on four principles: respect, understanding, acceptance, and appreciation.’
  • We can start by acknowledging that no one is better than the other and we can all learn from each other.

Links to Connect

MabelKwong.com

Facebook.com/TheMabelKwong

Twitter.com/TheMabelKwong

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Thank you for joining us for this interview.

If you have any feedback, please leave it in the comments below.   We appreciate your visit. 

 

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73 thoughts on “Author Mabel Kwong- PRIORHOUSE INTERVIEW (MAY 2022)”

  1. What a great interview with Mabel! Such a good thing to accept yourself as you are and to explore what that is. I empathize with the realisation that for an introvert it can be exhausting to take part in writing activities – and also that it can take a long time to produce the work that means something to you. Am also very interested in how we all can come to understand each other better – sometimes through reading about individual experience. I found this all very helpful, interesting and inspiring. Thank you both!

    Liked by 2 people

    1. Hello Maria, thanks so very much for your feedback. I wasn’t sure exactly how I wanted the interview to be setup and reading your comment was affirming! Thanks for taking the time to read and Reagan sing the Introvert aspect, I am reading a book about how this plays out in the work place – introvert, ambivert, and extrovert expressions can vary (as I am sure you know) and in the work setting there can be team training for helping colleagues understand more about “wiring” and then tapping into the strengths and finding ways to use this understanding to improve unity (and ultimately productivity).
      Hope your weekend is off to a great start.
      ⭐️😊⭐️

      Liked by 2 people

    2. What a thoughtful comment, Maria. You said it so well – that it can take a long time to produce work that means something to you and I think that applies to anyone. So often many gravitate towards instant gratification or having a good time, and nothing wrong with that. And that leads into what you said next, understanding each other through our individual experiences. There’s always something you can learn from the person next to you. Thank you so much for reading 😊

      Liked by 2 people

  2. Another wonderful interview with a blogger who deserves more attention. Mabel’s path to blogging sounds familiar. I’m a fan of Quiet by Susan Cain, too– probably no surprise. I admire anyone who can write a book in addition to maintaining an interesting blog. You inspire!

    Liked by 2 people

    1. hi Ally – Thanjs for checking out this post and I also admire the way Mabel can keep a blog and also keep at her book – ✍️📚⭐️⭐️

      Liked by 2 people

    2. Thank you for reading, Ally. I’m not one for attention to be honest. I just like to do my writing and own thing, and stay in my own lane 😄 It would be great if my work can reach a lot of people but at the end of the day, there are also other things that are important. Hope you are doing well 🙂

      Liked by 3 people

  3. HI Yvette, I really enjoyed meeting Mabel and learning about her book project and a few other aspects of her life. It seems all writers and introverts who eventually decide to just enjoy being of a loner and quiet mindset and take pleasure in their writing.

    Liked by 2 people

    1. Hi Robbie – glad to introduce you to Mabel (and she will drop by later to check in here)
      Yeah, I think you are right about acceptance Leading to pleasure and contentment. It is like a monkey that stops trying to be a pro swimmer and says “I was designed to climb and have a tail that is made to swing from the canopy and so I won’t try to swim like a fish” – or something like that 😉

      Liked by 2 people

    2. So agree with you, Robbie. Sometimes you just got to embrace being yourself, quiet or not, and then you can take pleasure in doing what you want to do. For some of us, getting there can be quite a journey, but always worth it. Introverts have it harder sometimes as many see quietness as ‘not quite normal’ when in fact, quietness is a strength. Thanks so much for reading 🙂

      Liked by 3 people

  4. Wonderful interview. I’m also an introvert who very much appreciated Susan Cain’s QUIET. I’m glad Mabel has established a good place and practice for herself.

    Liked by 2 people

    1. Hello Tracy- thanks for your comment and I ha e not checked out the book from Cain but I have explored many resources related to this topic (along with TYPE and Big-5 traits) but her book sounds awesome.

      Liked by 1 person

    2. Thank you for reading, Tracy. Glad you appreciated Susan Cain’s book Quiet. It really was an eye-opener for me, and a book I always go back to. Hope you are doing well yourself, Tracy 🙂

      Liked by 1 person

  5. What a wonderful interview Yvette. I so enjoyed getting to know Mabel and her writing journey and the great tips. I loved that she taken breaks and has given herself time to regroup and find her voice. What a wonderful educational experience to share cultural acceptance through writing.
    I loved the pictures and song.. thanks so much 💖💖

    Liked by 2 people

    1. Hi Cindy! Thanks for
      Joining us for this interview 😉
      And as you patiently wait for timing with your current book I know you can relate to much of what Mabel shared here
      Hope your weekend is going well so far
      😊✍️💛

      Liked by 2 people

    2. Thank you so much for reading, Cindy. Glad you enjoyed the pictures and songs from Lindsey Stirling too. Taking breaks with writing – and anything creative – is so important. Breaks can help clear your mind and take the stress away from constantly keeping at it. Hope your writing is going well and all the best with it 🙂

      Liked by 1 person

      1. You’re so welcome Mabel. It was wonderful… all of it. I sure did! It really is important and thanks for the reminder and encouragement!
        I’ll have to head over to your site and we can stay in touch. Stop in mine as well when you get time. Blessings! 🙏🙏

        Like

        1. You are welcome, Cindy. Always like connecting with other writers, and glad to have connected. I have followed your blog and hope to pop by sometime. Take care 🙏

          Liked by 1 person

        2. It is a gift that we have each other to share our journeys with. I’m delighted. Oh great! Thanks so much for beating me there. So much to keep up with. Awesome, I’ll be right over.. 💖💖

          Liked by 2 people

  6. Hi, Yvette – Thank you for featuring Mabel here. I am a huge fan of her blog. We in lived Beijing for 14 years. When our youngest som went off to University he lamented with deep frustration “I’m no longer a Canadian and I’m not Chinese I’m trapped somewhere in between.” Very painful!

    Liked by 2 people

    1. Hey – that experience your son had sounds a lot like the “cultural outcast” term Mable mentioned.
      And I did noticed that in your bio and was going to ask you a little more about your experience doing work there (so I will be checking in with you on that at some point…)
      Thanks so much for taking the time to check out this interview and Mabel’s blog.
      Happy Mother’s Day too!

      Liked by 1 person

    2. Thank you so much for reading, Donna. It is lovely to see you here 🙂 Sounds like your son has felt in between places and cultures, and that can be very frustrating! However having the opportunity to live and travel places, it’s such a blessing and you learn so much, and appreciate the different people you meet along the way. Hope you have a good week ahead.

      Like

    1. Hello Vj – thanks for joining us with Mabel’s interview. And I am always amazed at how each interview is so different (and I have some non authors coming up this year – hahah – but I sure do love featuring authors)
      hope your weekend is going well and Happy Mother’s Day, VJ

      Liked by 2 people

  8. What a fabulous interview, Yvette, and such a delight to find Mabel over here at your place. I always enjoy reading Mabel’s blog. I find her insights, especially on culture, fascinating, informative and helpful. It is so good to be told what is appropriate in responding to others from different backgrounds. A number of years ago, I interviewed Mabel too and she wrote a piece for my readilearn site about celebrating Chinese New Year. (Thank you, Mabel, it is a wonderful resource). So much of what Mabel shares is common sense, but it needs to be more commonly practised. I know what Mabel means about being an introvert and having struggles with writers’ groups and conferences. They can be a bit dauting for we introvert writers. Thanks to both of you for these insights, and so nice to see you together again. I enjoyed reading the Lady by the River book. 🙂

    Liked by 2 people

    1. Hi Norah
      Perhaps you can share a link of your interview with Mabel – i faintly recall it now that you mention it! And wow – it had been a number of years now that many of us have been connecting here…. anyhow – I want to read
      That interview again!

      Liked by 2 people

    2. It is so lovely to see you here, Norah. I remember my interview with you and it was such a pleasure to be a part of your blog (and Readilearn) – which is an amazing blog on educational resources for the classroom, and you make learning and reading so engaging. You said it so well. A lot of what I feel I share is common sense, but I guess to some others, this is not the case – and it needs to be clarified, practiced and embodied. And of course, every now and again we have to be reminded of respectfully treating others. Thank you for reading Lady by the River. It’s such an amazing collection of inspiring stories that Yvette put together and I hope you found it useful in some way 🙂

      Liked by 2 people

      1. It’s wonderful that we can all meet up at each other’s places in the blogosphere, Mabel, and also read each other’s work and learn from each other. What a treat!

        Liked by 1 person

        1. I love how you phrase it, Norah, that we ‘we can all meet up at each other’s places in the blogosphere’. It’s like catching up and checking in on each other. Such connections are a treat 🙂

          Liked by 2 people

  9. Love the interview. Love Mabel. She is so deep. And conscious: she sees all around her and inside herself. Not many people are able to do that. To Mabel: “Well done Peng Yu”.
    And thank you for introducing us to Lindsey Sterling. Raised my hope in the human race today…
    🙏🏻 thank you both.

    Liked by 2 people

    1. It is very nice to see you here. I enjoy your blog a lot, with your travels and street sights. It is very nice of you to say, ‘She is so deep’. I hope so especially in my writing, though I feel I can go deeper and hope to connect many more people. Lindsey Stirling is such an inspiration. Her music has touched so many.

      By the way, I always liked your handle especially the part ‘equinox’. Thank you for reading and supporting 🙏

      Liked by 1 person

      1. It’s always nice to support a read a nice person. (Which though we haven’t met personally, I’m sure you are)
        Keep being yourself Peng Yu… 🙏🏻

        Like

        4. Oh so nice of you to say. You never know. One day our paths could cross geographically. Stranger things have happened. Thank you. You keep being yourself too, Amigo 🙏

          Liked by 2 people

    2. Thanks for making the time to join us for this interview. I know you already knew Mabel and cheers to her sharing Lindsey with us all – the performance violin art is so unique
      And just heard on the radio today that Albert Einstein LOVED the violin – owned a few but found much joy in listening and sai:

      ” ‘A table, a chair, a bowl of fruit and a violin; what else does a man need to be happy?”
      And as Mabel showed us Lindsey takes the violin to new levels

      Liked by 2 people

      1. Yes, that was another contribution of Mabel’s. I’d never heard of Lindsey. It’s good to know some are bringing new forms to art… 🎻

        Liked by 1 person

        1. The world sure needs it – the more art the better (and speaking of that – I think I have some street art posts of yours to get caught up on – see you soon amigo)

          Liked by 2 people

  11. Pingback: Art is Everywhere Post (10-05-22) – priorhouse blog

  12. I did enjoy this interview, Yvette and Mabel. I can’t fully empathise with some of the cultural issues. Sometimes I feel like the obvious is being stated. And I regard myself as an introverted-extrovert. I certainly don’t shout loudest and I absolutely prefer time on my own, but I really don’t think it’s such a big issue, and I certainly don’t think it’s as black and white as it’s painted. If you’re writing for an audience, to me that’s an extrovert activity. Otherwise you’re writing your diary and it’s private?. Don’t we all write for ourselves? At the end of the day we are all people, wanting to be loved and accepted and that’s where we find common ground. Thanks to both of you for sharing.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Thank you for reading here, Jo. And your comment is absolutely food for thought. It did get me thinking – is writing an extroverted activity, especially when you are writing a book and putting it out there? Maybe it is, as writing for an audience is about having the courage and composure to put yourself out there, and be out there to showcase your writing. For many writers including myself, the act of writing is a solitary activity….but I guess at the same time, writing is also about putting yourself out there. Keep doing you, Jo. Enjoy many more lovely walks 😊❤

      Liked by 1 person

      1. We have company this week, Mabel, and are showing our lovely
        Algarve to our best man. He was widowed last year. It all reinforces how lucky we are. Sending hugs your way 🤗💗

        Liked by 2 people

    2. Hi Jo

      Thanks for your thoughtful comment

      First – when something feels like stating the obvious – it could be because you are seasoned in that area -?
      But then there is also unique angles that we bring to topics.

      So even though multiculturalism is covered more and more these last couple decades – more coverage doesn’t mean it is saturated or means we should pull back. It could – at some point – but some of this ongoing discussions (on topics that seem ubiquitous or even well covered) the ongoing discussion is needed for a variety of reasons – either for unique perspectives or to reach a handful of people or to reach millions.

      Also with taking about writing as an extroverted activity – I think it depends on how we define our terms here – as I sure you know-
      And so how you are defining extroversion fits with what you mean regarding the social connecting and writing. I agree with you by the way.

      It took me years to grasp how the Big5 traits differed from the Jung TYPE with the way they refer to extroversion. I won’t go into too much detail on that now (perhaps a post or even a video is in order – 😉 )
      But I think the goal here is to just understand how one recharges their batteries – understand innate wiring – learn more about how we get refreshed and understanding what DRAINS .

      The goal is to understand more about wiring and life shaping – (nature and nurture) and research shows that for many folks introversion increases with aging. Research show there are also many myths and misunderstandings about introversion and extroversion.

      So many personality variables to consider and so many factors that might correlate but not indicate causation .
      😊⭐️⭐️⭐️

      I haven’t read Cain’s book but It does sound good on helping people identify traits and celebrate their high introversion or high extroversion or that ambiversion…

      However – I have also seen folks accidentally hide behind introversion when they are really
      Socially fatigued or just fed up with people and feel that exhaustion and annoyance (because withdrawing and backing off socially for healing might just be human and from wounds and not necessarily from wiring) – ya know ? Maybe misunderstood to be a trait of introversion!
      Not sure if you have read Pride and Prejudice – but there is a nice little exchange between characters Mr Darcy and Elizabeth.
      Elizabeth calls Darcy out because he was snobby and socially closed off at dancing event.
      He then said he didn’t have the gift that others have – you know- the gift to easily chat with strangers at a social event.
      Elizabeth replied – and she was playing the piano at the time – and said that she doesn’t play her instrument as well as she would like but she attributed that to her not practicing as opposed to calling it a flaw… (something like that).
      My point with that example is that some social skills are learned and practiced and people can ease into more comfortable exchanges – and will feel
      Drained and awkward because they just have not given it time (not always) folks don’t realize that inexperience – lack of practice – and low trust are sometimes at play with their social choices.

      —
      Wow – I think your comment and Mabel’s and mine show how layered the topic of personality traits can be!

      Liked by 1 person

      1. Thanks for the detailed reply, Yvette. I know that these are subjects where your expertise and knowledge greatly exceed mine. It’s good to try and understand each other.

        Liked by 2 people

        2. well you got that right, Jo – to understand each other it takes dialogue like this – and is not always about expertise as much as it was about being open and honest (like you were here).
          The timing of your comment was also so good because I bought a few books earlier this month.
          One of the books was called “stress less” and it was a complete disappointment because it seemed to overstated and even “obvious”. – I skimmed the pages and realized there ws not one thing new for me and it even had such basic stuff – then I realized I wasn’t the target audience. It was more for someone knew to self-discovery and more for someone new to learning about the culture connections to stress.

          Similarly, some of the topics on multiculturalism, personality, expression, social intelligence – well they are your areas of expertise – and I am sure your many years of blogging honed those areas (and parenting and just living in the world as a person who observes and pauses to photograph beauty).

          wishing you all a great day

          Liked by 2 people

      2. Great reflection there, Y. Many layers there indeed, and a comment I will come back to. ‘how the Big5 traits differed from the Jung TYPE with the way they refer to extroversion.’ Maybe at some stage you’ll write about this. Having looked at the Big 5 traits and studied Jung, it is interesting food for thought – and now I want to revisit this in my own time 😄❤

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        1. Hi Mabel (and Jo) _ I will try to make sure I write about the difference. Because a handful of years ago I taught college level “Introduction to Psychology” again and again and again (ha) – which has many perks – because you get to know chapters and start making your own lessons. I am actually working on a booklet with tips for teaching that subject because I noticed a few common things that get glossed over.
          Anyhow, I will try to get to the Big 5 and TYPE post soon. It also relates to research – the Big5 traits are robust and align with research methods whereas the TYPE survey does not; however, the TYPE survey has practical value and this is why we see it being used in the workforce and even in colleges.
          I will link you when I do write about it – and thanks agin to Jo for her time and her rich comment.

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  13. I like how Mabel sees the world and her world is clutter free and simple and that eases her mind and gives her comfort. If only I could only be so lucky.and embrace hw She has given us something to grab onto.

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    1. That is so nice of you t say, Linda. Thank you so much. I do have my chaotic moments though, and sometimes I do get overwhelmed. Maybe there’s a space or time you can make for yourself to feel comfort and ease, and grab on to and see where you can go 🙂

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      1. I am an avid walker Mabel, so I find peace in my morning walks in nature … that is a blessing to me and takes me away from this chaotic world we are living in and helps to declutter my mind; now to declutter the house is another story. I have to think “baby steps” and that idea resonates with me – one step at a time works for walking, so it should work for this venture as well.

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        1. Decluttering the home can be a long process. It can be hard deciding what we need and what we want to keep. So take your time with it, step by step. And keep enjoying your morning walks in nature, Linda 🙂

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